Only God is perfect and we're all striving to be like Him. Perfection comes with time, with sacrifice, with love. We can't expect that perfection to come immediately or even in this lifetime, so we shouldn't set our expectations so high only God qualifies for them. In a book by Dr. H. Wallace Goddard called "Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage" (short read and very powerful...HIGHLY recommend) he says that "The natural man is inclined to love himself and fix others. God has asked us to do the opposite. We are to fix ourselves by repenting, and to love others. It is not surprising that we have difficulties in marriage. We so often do the very things that will destroy our relationships. In great literature- including scripture- the highest and noblest service entailed sacrifice and selflessness." What matters most is that we understand the fact that we can't make a loved one's choices for them, we can't force them to say or act a certain way shoot that wouldn't be right anyways. However what we CAN do is change ourselves...to become better at loving, at encouraging, at sacrificing.